Can We Really Just Bury Our Failures?

can we bury a failureBurying our failures, great concept as we dig deep into the ground and throw the failures and the bad omens away. In certain ways, sounds like a dream come true but is this reality? If we are able to take that failure and bury it will we be able to leave it there or will it linger? Do we need to have it linger to learn or is it where we have learned and need to bury it and move on? Sometimes we dwell on things as we are unable to find an answer to the failure where others we move on. Does this mean that we found the answer or that it was not really a big part of the grand scheme and just moved on?

Can We Bury Our Failures?

We all fail. It happens. Some are highly publicized and some are not. Some have tremendous repercussions while others are brushed under the rug and we move on but we at certain times reminded of them. We see a scenario that starts to feel like that failure and we react to ensure that we do not go there again. We have put it behind us and go along but there is something that stops us dead in our tracks that reminds us. Remember your first kiss, the place, the weather, what he/she looked like … you remember that moment and left a piece of you there; until you remember the heart break and how that felt and you would never do that again.

Leaving a Piece of You There

Failure is hard to swallow. Sometimes it us so very public that you cannot find a hole big enough to jump into whereas other times you are able to “enjoy” that private failure that is the gift that keeps on giving. Either way, it feels like it will never go away. It lingers, it takes its toll and we feel like it is that Scarlet Letter. You think about it over and over, if I did this, if I did that, If I said this or that, if only … In doing this, we are are leaving a piece of us there as when we go back there, we stop and think. Which begs the question can we just bury our failures? Are we able to put them behind us and move on?

The Long Term Thought Process

The long term though process is big, it is actually kinda huge. We hear what you say today, will have an impact tomorrow. This is not always true as we know. Sometimes and shall I say many times we are always reminded that we said this or that as it relates to something in particular. But if we go deeper, is what you are saying today a part of your long term business or even personal branding? Will what you are saying today be so rewarding that you will enjoy that great success or be so damaging that there is no way you can come out of it? I think in long term. 5  years ago and years previous I was short term. Nature of my surroundings in a way. I worked in jobs where do this, this and this to finish this, this and this. There was not long term there as finish this to start this. It was do today and think about tomorrow, tomorrow. I enjoyed what I did but I yearned for that long term thinking of tomorrow, the next day and the day after that. Hence leaving one career to thrive in another.

Open For Interpretation

I suppose everything is open to interpretation. Glass half empty vs half full, success in small steps vs instant topping the charts. We interpret things differently. Heck the law is fought each day based upon an interpretation of the needs of a client. Interpretation is a part of our every day life as we see and hear things that we are able to process, listen to and formulate a story of sorts of. Remember the game of telephone as a child. Starts with a phrase/sentence that by the end has been so changed that we all laugh wondering how it happened to get so twisted in the end.

As I write this I think of a myriad of scenarios where we can bury our failures but yet digging a deep hole and walking away are we or are we tabling it to remind us once again to never go there again?

We should always learn from our failures so that we grow and burying them seems almost elementary but it almost seems harder to bury them and move on than it does to dwell? Yes?

Just probably thinking out loud a bit here that is a different tone to this blog but after reading about Coach Ryan burying the football I got to thinking about burying failures … but even more so, the negativity that surrounds the failure. Maybe the failure itself is not the bigger issue but the negativity that is/we associate with it is?

What do you think? Can we bury our failures or should we bury the negativity and focus on what we are really great at?

photo credit: coljay72

  • I don’t think we *should* bury our failures. Failures can be like a benchmark. Failures can show us what we did wrong so that we don’t do those things again. Failures can be a reminder of when we didn’t do our best or when we gave up.

    That’s a treasure chest you’d be burying, in my opinion.

    • I was feeling the same way but then I also think about some things that we have to bury to move on. I was on the fence here but then again there are so many different scenarios that we have to put it into perspective.

      I like how you said we gave up. I think we all do at times and we are successful when we are able to have a support system that puts us back on track. Sometimes that does mean burying it so that we are able to learn even more from it. Dwelling on it stagnates us.

      I guess we have to channel the energy of moving forward or falling flat and get to a place where we can go forward or just be slapped as you so wonderfully wrote, I loved that post btw. For anyone who falls or is on the verge of falling, check out this post my Margie, she lends a very supportive ear. http://www.margieclayman.com/?p=1073

      • Well, I was thinking more in regards to certain sports teams that shall not be named here. But yeah – we all get to that point. Lordy lordy lordy.

        Thank you for referencing my blog in your comments section. You are too cool for school, m’friend 🙂

  • I have fail many time..and have picked myself back up..it just about determination.

    “Black Seo Guy “Signing Off”

    • Black Guy SEO

      I agree about it being about determination. We have to find a place that we are comfortable to be able to grasp the situation and take hold of it. When we fail we are either quitters are even more determined to succeed. Very easy though to end up in both situations.

  • Failure is not horrible per se. It’s the social perception of our “environment” that make it so.
    In some cultures, failure is a lot more accepted than in others. Of course it’s not something nice or fun, but it’s something often needed to learn and move on. Therefore I am not sure it’s a good thing to bury it. If you’re ashamed of it, ask yourself: am I ashamed of this ’cause the failure REALLY is awful, or because I am worried about what others will think of me after it?

    • Gabriele

      I was thinking that when I wrote this – what is the root of the failure for us. Do we allow our ego to come into play and look at the failure in terms of “who saw that”? I look a failure right in the face and stare at it (sometimes too long) and learn from it as I walk away.

  • Interesting post. Mistakes can be a great thing if you learn from them. That’s the key. If you take time to learn from a mistake and adjust, you win. But there Kano reason to dwell. This is where I would disagree a bit with Marjorie. Why dwell? Life is too short to get caught up and held back by the negativity that can come from inside the “treasure.”

    @jwsokol

    • Jason

      I had said to Margie that when we dwell we stagnate however I think to that end if we have a proper support system then we tend to not dwell as they will not let us. I have dwelled in the past and as I was saying today to actually my mother, I take responsibility for things that I had no control of or technically were not what would be deemed my fault but I learn from those things and that is my mechanism for moving on. I try and not keep things sitting so that there is opportunity to dwell.

      Life is too short and so many times what happens today is so far gone in a few months that we have a hard time really remembering so much of it.

      Thanks so much for stopping by. It brings such a smile to my face.